What's the difference between Torres and soup?
..Soup is a regular starter
What does a Liverpool fan do after watching his team win the premier league?
Turn off the playstation .
Gary Cahill's move to Chelsea has broken down as his wife can't agree personal terms with John Terry.
It’s Fabio Capello’s first day as England manager and he walks into the showers and sees a large poo on the floor. He goes straight to the dressing room to confront the players and asks “who’s **** on the floor?”
At which point Peter Crouch sticks his hand up and says “yeah, but I’m good in the air!”
Fire brigade phones Arsene Wenger in the early hours of Sunday morning....
"Mr Wenger sir, the Emirates is on fire!"
"The cups man! Save the cups!" replies Arsene.
"Uh, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir.